These kinds of thought experiments generally enhance most readers’ eating experience.
The surface tension of all available liquids is breakable, and therefore you can technically drink anything there, a world of possibility that really opens the story up.
None of the fruit contains razor blades.
What Doesn't Work
The use of the metaphor “like pushing a sack of angry hammers through a rolled-up garden hose” for post-Creekside bowel movements seems forced and unnecessary.
The spoon and knife characters receive a disproportionate amount of attention. It’s like the author is constantly forgetting that the fork characters exist.
The salad bar character seems very flat and passive and lacks any development as the story progresses.
The sudden introduction of the multitude of young camper characters seems unnecessary and even though they may serve some metaphorical purpose about unavoidable impediments of everyday life and herd mentality, it seems like they could possibly be reworked and combined into one character for more efficiency .
The dialogue between the strange intoxicated writer characters and the camper characters is forced and awkward at times. The oppressive bitterness of the writer characters seems justified only by some aversion to light and loud noises.
 This may also help with the dessert issue.